Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
