That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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