So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
