I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
