guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize