R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
