**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
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If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
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You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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