haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
this just has baby written all over it
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
