You're completely useless in the revolution.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
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i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
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I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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