I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
