I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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