I just made out with a guy for $7.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
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Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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