we're blogging at a bar
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
