It's Friday. Sex?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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