I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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