he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
