i think my tv is drunk
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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