I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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