How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
