Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
