He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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