Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
