we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
