id be glad to
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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