Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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