I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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