marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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