i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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