I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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