Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You left your phone here
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