i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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