Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
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she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
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I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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