He kissed a someone with a penis
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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