Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
