Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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