im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
