Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
