Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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