Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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