Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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