I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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