she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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