I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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