the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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