You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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