I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
