I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
