I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I can't put those talents on a resume
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
