i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
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