I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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