I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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