Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
