When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
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