Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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