He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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