u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
