I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
