i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
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smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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