i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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