i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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