dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
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